Reflections of time

It has been a year since my husband walked thru the door at dinnertime tired from a day at work. It has been a year since I watched him pack up his duffel bag and gather his gear, strap on his weapon and stand in formation. A year since he boarded that stinking white bus that I will have alternate feelings for in 2 months. It has been a year since I ensured his name tapes were on everything. It has been a year since our kids tried to crawl in his bag to go with him. In that year, the baby had her first birthday, Ken turned two numbers, Zoe turned 3 and we both turned 40. I have struggled with my health and Kendra started cheerleading. Zoe now can say her ABC's and is learning to count. She can color between the lines on occasion. Danielle is starting to talk more and loves to be read to. She has moved from bottle to sippy and has gotten 12 teeth. Danielle loves to color on everything...........including herself. We had a full set oh holidays and are starting our next round of them. Some this year he will still miss.
During that year, I have shuddered everytime the phone rings at odd hours. Early morning or late evening calls worry me. Some mornings at the beginning of the deployment, I peeked out the window to ensure no one was waiting to greet me. I hate that feeling. Lately though, it seems to have quieted down over there some and my concern level is not as high as it first was. I hated those days, when he was not on the computer as planned........those were the days that the quietness and the news would get to me. My husband's unit has now moved to their last stop before they head home EARLIER by just a few weeks shy of the 15 months. I still do not feel able to breathe deeply....not just yet, as that will not happen until he is firmly on American soil. Only another military spouse will probably understand that. I can not wait to see the guys march in and sing the Dog Faced Soldier and the Army Goes Marching Along song. I cannot wait to feel the sense of pride and know that he is home not just for 17 days but more than likely for a couple years this time. It will be the longest we have been together since we got married..........we actually may be able to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary together.............which will be a first. We have not been together for a single one yet. It is looking like John will be home just in time for the second and eleventh birthday of the kiddos and Christmas. We are all so excited!