writing used to be so cathartic and not quite sure why I stopped. For those of you who know me, it once again is time for transfusions, b12 and my 6 month mammogram showed scar tissue had formed in lumps that feel like pebbles. Why like that, not sure I will ever understand. and quite honestly get angry about it. As the fear of the what ifs always come right back to surface....Still leaking blood so referrals to surgeons are pending in the fine world of Tricare. Thankful that John's insurance covers this and that he is willing to put up with me for it to.
the kids are good.....Zoe has not had any issues since January and that was minor and not even witnessed by me. The school called and had me come. MRI and CAT scans showed clear still so hoping she is outgrowing it?!?!?!? Decided to get back into quilting.........to keep busy. Too hot down here to go outside much. Seriously..the humidity here is outrageous.
yesterday was the anniversary of my Mom's death. way back in 85! less than a week before I turned 17. So much life has happened since then and there are times I miss her so much and then times I feel like it was another life. It was in a way. Tears still spring to my eyes to think I am older now than what she was when she died. only 41 but at that time I thought 41 was OLD. ummm I will be 43 next Monday and I do not feel old. although the wrinkles and white hairs have made an appearance. Yesterday was also my Shan's bday. friends since ummm maybe 81 or 82? Do not really know. I think it was 6th grade..... but man to think back over our lives. Wow. She is now a Grandma and those kids are the same ages as my littles.
Has someone ever just disappeared out of your life. Poof gone? leaves such an empty feeling....especially if it is someone you love. You reach out to pull back nothing.......I guess God has reasons although he and I are evidently not on the same page at the moment. Kind of like at church where you know the song, did not hear the number called out......and can't place the title of the song so you flip pages in the songbook. Kind of where I am at the moment. A bit lost, in the congregation, but waiting for someone to hand me a songbook with the correct page open.
I started couponing. watched extreme couponing....and decided that needed to be done. Between economy and then fear of future........including will military always receive paychecks, just a few weeks back we almost did not. well... Then of course, dhimmitude was put in the health care laws........and that alone is enough to strike fear in me for our country. Not that I want to stockpile or am obsessed but I do have kids to be concerned for. I was not part of the fear of the year 2000 or any such thing....but so far in two shopping trips, I have saved enough to fill up the van's gastanks twice. Every little bit helps. Then I have 6 boxes of free toothpaste...... well maybe that will save at the dentist in the long run also.
Flower Fields: Strawberry Rolls - I love that spring is so full of flowers. And we take complete advantage of it. Trips to the desert to see the super bloom, and of course, the flowers ...
1 week ago