Weekend Getaway and follow up

When John returned from OIFIII, we went to visit one of his soldiers at Walter Reed while he was on block leave. These two have developed quite a friendship over the years. We watched as he started a new relationship with Jenn who is now his wife of 3 years and they now have a little baby boy on the way. One of the first things John wanted to do upon his arrival home from OIFIV was visit Donald again. It worked out perfectly that my parents were in the next town visiting other family. So we were able to knock two birds out with one stone as people say. the only downfall was our Expedition blew a bladder. stupid rubber type piece probably only worth a few bucks is going to cost us a bundle as half the engine has to be removed to get to it. We ended up getting a rental to get home as Zoe had her Neuroligist appointment today. I got the news I expected but dreaded hearing. She has epilepsy...although the doc explained they are trying to lose that term and go with seizure disorder as the term epilepsy has a antiquated negative thought process that causes people to not get past. Irregardless we started a medication today and I am to keep a diary as to when she wets the bed or pullup and when she has seizures. The medication will be upped everytime she has a seizure and if we can go a year they will back her off the meds. I knew in my heart but man hearing it really is like getting a punch in the stomach. I hope never to see my daughter suffer thru this again. I know she has no idea what has happened but it is so hard to see. Attached are some pics from our weekend. When I can figure out how to download from the camera I will have some pics of her hooked up to the EKG machine. She wanted everyone to see her headdress. She is such a trooper. When talking with Jenn on the instant messenger tonight. Jenn said that news made her so sad she could cry. Zoe said oh no don't do that I will be okay, I am okay do not cry. My Princess Sunshine, she so wants to make everyone smile and happy. I know her smile lights up my heart. My little trooper I love you girlie. We are just hoping the medicine does not cause her aggression during the mood swings to worsen. These times last about 5-10 minutes and then she becomes a very loving kissing touchy kiddo. So we covet more prayers everyone. We know God has a plan and we are just along for the ride but man I wish to be on a track that is straight and on a gentle incline not a rollercoaster but I guess whatever gets us to his destination will be alright.

Christmas Pictures

The favorite items found yesterday morning were a bit surprising to me. Zoe's favorite thing was not her new bike but her Dora orange toothbrush and a Cinderella Barbie Doll. Danielle fell in love with the Dora pillow Kendra made for her and literally hugged and kissed it multiple times but she played with this stocking stuffer toy of a little plastic snowman bicycle that held a lollipop the most. Kendra as expected loved her MP3 player and went immediately online to pick songs. Although we had muffins at breakfast I was not allowed to make my homemade cinnamon rolls as Kendra explained Mom you will let them burn again this year and the kids were too anxious to get to the presents to wait for dough to rise and that whole process. First year without them but it was planned!!!!!!! just vetoed I think I should have made them all wait now. LOL......... However, they did have to eat Pasty. But my favorite gift to give the littles were Dressy Bessy and Dapper Dan. I had these dolls when I was little. I remember my Nana and Pop gave my cousin Paul and I one each of these dolls. I received Dressy and Paul received Dan. Well in my young mind they were brother and sister and belonged together and should not be seperated. I distinctly remember having both at some point and had them for years and loved on them the whole time. When I saw them in the store they were a HAVE TO purchase. In case you are not familiar with Bessy and Dan they teach how to do snaps, tie shoes, buttons, tie ribbons, use a belt, etc. A kind of toy I love!!!!!!!!! I hope everyone else had just a nice a Christmas as we did. It was so nice to be all together this year.

Merry Christmas

Wisdom from Fellow Pilgrims

There is no evidence of any kind regarding the date of Jesus' birth. His nativity began to be celebrated on Dec. 25 in Rome during the early part of the fourth century (336 AD) as a Christian counterpart to the pagan festival, popular among the worshipers of Mithras, called Sol Invictis, the Unconquerable Sun. At the very moment when the days are the shortest and darkness seems to have conquered light, the sun passes its nadir. Days grow longer, and although the cold will only increase for quite a long time, the ultimate conquest of winter is sure. This astronomical process is a parable of the career of the Incarnate One. At the moment when history is blackest, and in the least expected and obvious place, the Son of God is born.

— Frederich Borsch & David Napier

Catching up

John arrived safely but with a cold that has not gone away. During the last two weeks we have done many things, attended the Journey (a live Nativity rendition), shopped, birthday parties, wrapped presents, weeded out excess, cheerleading practice, and made several doctor appointments. Sickness has hit our house and everyone is down with it. Seems Danielle had a BAD reaction to her DTP shot and ended up with a severe infection and allergic reaction within the first 12 hours. 4 days later it is still red and raised with a golf ball size lump under the injection site. Meanwhile Zoe came this close (imagine fingers up with almost invisible space between them) to be admitted into the hospital. No not due to her seizures but pneumonia. They have put her on breathing treatments night and day as needed. I am simply worn out and due Monday for my B12. The last few days before hand I can tell I am due as my energy just drains away. So not much going to be posted as I am attempting to finish Kendra's quilt by Christmas. I think it will get done this weekend but we will see. John has plans for us if the girls feel better. Will catch everyone up in a few days for sure. Sorry for the absence. Off to take a nap.

mommababgirl

from ken

The deep things unsaid

I typed up a whole paragraph and Danielle came in and hit a button and there it went. UGH. but then maybe that was God editing me from sharing too much. I saw a glimpse of the things that run deep for John this weekend. The things that go unsaid from war. We talk a lot, he is my best friend and is not always this tease others see out in public. At home he is never like that. Only out in public. We have an agreement that I will not push him to talk about war or the things he chooses to hold in unless of course they are hurting him, us or the family. I respect his silence but saw some of the pain this weekend in a one minute conversation about another soldier he apologized to for not attending the wreath ceremony. I had mentioned it to him a few days earlier but he never commented on it much. I had no clue that he really felt he should be there or we would have juggled the girls birthday party to later in the day. It was not until an hour before with 7 kiddos to head to Chuck E Cheese in Savannah that I knew a little of his thoughts. It was about a four sentence interchange and the veil went back up on the subject but the glimpse allowed me to see that thoughts and things run deep for him. My husband does not like to disappoint anyone and makes an effort to prevent that so unlike the persona he displays in public. So now I feel he worries about the I should have been there on top of the pain from war. but those deep things remain unsaid. and I may only catch a glimpse now and then when he chooses to open up.

Poem

A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,

I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.

My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,

My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,

Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,

Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,

Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,

So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,

But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.

Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the

sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,

And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,

A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,

Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.

Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,

Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,

"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!

Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,

You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,

Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts¦

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light

Then he sighed and he said, "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night.

"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,

That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"

Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',

And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,

But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.�

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,

The red, white, and blue... an American flag.

I can live through the cold and the being alone,

Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,

I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

I can carry the weight of killing another,

Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,

To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,

Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,

"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?

It seems all too little for all that you've done,

For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,

"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,

To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,

To know you remember we fought and we bled.

Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,

That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

PLEASE, would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many

people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our

U.S service men and women for our being able to celebrate these

festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people

stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us.

LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN

30th Naval Construction Regiment

OIC, Logistics Cell One

Al Taqqadum, Iraq

heavy heart

I spoke with my friend Lex, who lives in Savannah last night again. Her husband died the week of Thanksgiving in a car accident. His fault due to drinking and driving. His alcoholism was not a secret and the last year had been bad. He had been in a treatment facility also. Lex went to the Nazarene church with me in Savannah and his parents attended the Nazarene church here in Hinesville with me also. I knew them well............not Leon at all but I knew Lex loved him unconditionally and wanted the best for him always.
I have been praying for her and family. He left behind four kiddos that Lex is now caring for. A set of 17 year old twins, a 10 or 11 year old (I think) and Zoe's bestest friend Izzy B who is 3 just like her.
Well Izzy B has been telling her Mama this week that Mama is a big girl not a baby and should not be crying. Lex said she tries the Care Bear Stare to help make her happy. and then comes up and pushes her cheeks up and tells her to keep it that way. The poor kiddo............she misses her Daddy and loves her Mama so much. I did not understand completely the why's when my Mom died and I was 16 how do you explain to a 3 year old ....a very intelligent 3 year old at that. Her comprehension is just not mature enough to grasp it all. She just knows Daddy is gone and Mommy is sad. She asked my advice but really beyond prayer and love I have no clue. This little girl was at her grandparents when it happened and does not want to go back without her Mama as she is scared Lex will die too if she is there. This is going to upset the grandparents to no end as they adore Izzy B. Any advice? I remember that fear and I think only time took it away.......I was scared to go to college, to have my Dad fly off to Boston to visit Barb (while they were dating). What if something happened..... He was all I had now. As I developed my own life these fears dissolved but man at the age of 3 that could take awhile. I was forced into it and can not say I went willingly and hate that year of change in my life. Every day and every change was like saying goodbye again. It was the worst but again I was 17 when most of the changes happened she is 3! I tossed and turned thinking about her all night and how to answer her question. I do not think there are really any answers. So prayers for her my friends............and for Lex and the boys. My heart is heavy for them today.

oh so sweet.........

It is so nice to have my hubby home and to be able to tell the kids go ask Daddy. To know that he is willing and able to help with the kiddos. To be able to breathe without feeling that I am always on duty. I actually was able to take a nap this afternoon. I only ended up sleeping 10 minutes but honestly I felt like I had been asleep for 2 hours. To completely relax was wonderful. I actually asked what I missed when I woke up and John said "you are kidding right?-you have only been upstairs like maybe 10 minutes Did you sleep?" Did I ever!
Pictures of the last few days are unavailable for a few more days as I sent my card home with Stacy whose husband came home last night and we helped her with her 5 kiddos during the ceremony and then transported his gear home as there was no room for it in their vehicle. I took lots of pics of their reunion and wanted her to have the pics right away.
Today we went out with the plans to go to the Oatland Island Zoo but due to incoming dark rain clouds we changed our plans. We ended up at the bowling alley and bowled 2 games. I won the first round and John won the second. The littles loved pushing the ball on the ramp thing. Kendra has progressed beyond it but still wants the bumpers (although I suggest next time she does without them just to see) We spent several hours there as they have a lunch special that includes, 2 games, shoes, drink and 2 slices of pizza or a burger so we ate there too. I could not believe we spent close to 3 hours there but we did.
Tonight we are just hanging out.......working on quilts, bathing children, iming with friends and watching tv. oh so sweet.............

My Shopping excursion at 5am

I told Kendra and the girls that we were going shopping early this am to get my Christmas present. This is what I came home with..................................





MY HUBBY! It is going to be a wonderful Christmas.

The weekend

it is 7pm on a Friday night and I need to get to sleep as my early morning plans will be upon me soon. I need to be out of the house about 445 in the morning to get to my Christmas present destination in time. But to convince the kiddos to go to sleep this early is a no go. So I figure 10pm after the Drake and Josh movie will not be asking too much. Then tomorrow night we have invited several people to go to The Journey with us. I attended this last year with some other military wives and it was AWESOME. I am so glad we can do this as a family this year. Next year we will not be here and will have to see what we can discover in that neck of the woods. But I am so excited about it this year! This weekend is going to be so good.

Treasure

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Luke 12:34).

I have been watching the pile of presents under the tree increase so much it has spilled out into the room. Partly because our new tree is the tall skinny kind and not the wide girth one.......that the branches do not cover much at all. Last years bit the dust as the boys decided it was a chew toy and treated it as and outdoor tree. (yuck but now the boys are no longer intact and much better behaved) So I digress. In my process of weeding out for a upcoming move, the girls really are not getting many toys this year. A lot of these presents are things the whole family will enjoy doing together or some personal things that are needed/wanted. I removed 8 garbage bags of items from the house that have just been stored and moved but not used. No real sentimental value to these things was had by anyone just held on to for the "I can see this being useful" thought. Well, in reality we are not going to use it we have not used it, etc.
This began my thinking back to where I store up my treasure and my attachment to belongings. I really do not have an attachment but to my hubby, my kids, and pictures. All other items can be replaced and in the end do not matter. I can state this firsthand and mean it as a fire 10 years ago took everything from me but my daughter and my faith in God that he was watching out for me and in control. I still feel that way. The accumulation of stuff has happened over the years since as has a marriage, a melding of our two household goods, and two additional children. I think stuff just happens but not in any of it do I consider my treasure. If need by, I can walk out of the house today with my kids, hubby and photo albums and be content. I stated this ten years ago right after my fire, all the items are just kindling and I can not take them with me out of this life.
I would rather store up my treasure in Heaven and look to him for my help and guidance than in the things of this world. I learned the lesson of materialism overnight. What am I teaching my kids? Does the pile under the tree teach them to want the newest and best as toted on the tv or teach them about family and values and God? hmmmmm. I need to think on that. I hope I have leaned farther to the right than the wrong with our presents and will think harder on that as I make purchases for birthdays, holidays in the future.
"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Luke 12:34).

Love those Magic Erasers!!!!!!!

While wrapping presents today, my permanent marker came up missing. Since Danielle was sick and napping with Kendra and Zoe was assisting me...I figured it had disappeared under the neat piles I was creating. Ha ha......ok to be honest the total chaos more describes what was created on my bed. So it was much to my surprise when Danielle came out of the bathroom(not asleep!?!?!) (remember she is not potty trained yet) and shuts the door and takes off running when she sees me. I immediately knew something was up but when I went into the bathroom all was in order except I saw the missing marker lying closed on the floor. Phew, I thought and proceeded on with my day. About an hour later, Kendra says Mom the girls are going to be in BIG trouble...have you seen the back of the bathroom door? closing my eyes and saying a prayer and taking a deep breathe, I proceeded to see the damage that was done to the door. From my waist down, was a beautiful work of art complete with a circled letter B that Kendra was quick to point out to me. I am sure that was an accident as my little one is not a prodigy by any means) Only problem is it was on the door of a rental house and not on paper.
I had purchased magic erasers Monday night while grocery shopping and thought well, it is worth a shot and much to my surprise it took out the majority of the color. Now, it is a slight shade of very pale yellow on what is a white door. So much better than black and white. Love those magic erasers. This will be much easier to paint over at move out time.

and by the way,,,,,,,,,wonder why I was using a permanet marker instead of gift tags? Cause this same child was found pulling them off the packages and decorating her belly with them. Since I knew I may not remember what was in those unmarked packages in a few weeks which would determine who they were meant for.......I decided names in permanent marker in VERY big letters was the way to go.

Growth spurts

As I kept weeding through the clothes trying to find some warm items for my kiddos, I came to the conclusion that they are just not there this past weekend. Why, you might ask-not even for Danielle? Nope, you see I realized that going into this past summer Zoe was wearing a 18month still some 24 month but only for length in some items. She started the summer wearing some 12 month shorts of her sisters still. I promise I do feed the child but she seems to prefer oranges, apples and salads with cheese over too much that could pack on the weight. Even drinking milk is a challenge with this one. It seems though this fall, she has grown much taller but not any in girth. She needs a solid 3t but the waists must have tight elastic or they will come down. Now little Miss Elle is built a bit bigger (and I do mean a bit as she is still petite too) and started the summer in some 12month/18 month clothes...........although almost 2 full years younger than Zoe she now is already in a full 2t..........which we did not have any of. We skipped that size range entirely for warm clothes. YIKES. So after posting a request and responding to a fewon Freecycle, we came up with a small collection of winter items and a ton of summer things............thank goodness winters are short where we are and it will be warm again shortly. However, with Daddy coming home Mommy wanted some nice special things to meet him at the outdoor ceremony to keep the kiddos warm since it will be at 5 in the morning and temperatures are in the 30's at that time. Also some nice things for Christmas pics and a possible trip north...........still waiting the possibilities on that one until we see the neurologist. I think when John sees a seizure actually happen he will lose his interest in going north............but maybe not as his Dad is not doing well either. We have been told that he has been having mini-strokes due to a possible blood clot in his neck. I think I have been down this road before with my Mom's mom but maybe that was a clot in her head? I vaguely remember her head being shaved and living with us for a bit. I was little.....7 or 8 I think. She learned to talk clearly again, write her name, etc...........while with us. I hope he does not have to do that as he will not be a patient patient. Not quite his style of dealing with things.
Looking back at pictures of the kiddos when John left, man have they changed, Dani was a new walker still quite the baby. Now she is a independent toddler and riding a tricycle. Zoe was a toddler......now looking like a little kid and quite different with her short do.........man is it growing out weird! Some spots seems to be on miracle gro and others seems to need fertilized. Thankfully it is winter and while outdoors we can throw a hat on her head. and Kendra looking like a kid when he left but now she is being mistaken for a teenager. She has the curves and all that already. She was wearing a kids 12 at that point and now a Juniors 5/7. and sharing my shoes. The kid is going to be tall.........to be wearing a size 9 1/2-10 at her age. YIKES. Hope her feet stop growing soon. cause I like sharing shoes with her....it doubles the shoe wardrobe.