Testify to Love

It's been 9 years.......a lifetime it seems at times, just yesterday at other times. I have thought a lot the last few days of the morning of Memorial Day 9 years ago. A day of many changes for me! I woke up in my nice warm bed at 3ish that morning to make a quick exit of my home with baby in tow. When the sun came up that morning, my home (apartment building) was no more. As we had just finished watching in pretty much burn to the ground and destroy almost all our earthly possessions. What I was left with was my beautiful 17 month old daughter, my keys to my car and my faith in God. The song Testify to Love by Avalon was just becoming popular at the time and I clung to it and played it as my theme song over and over. I knew that we were able to get out safely due to the fact that we were loved, protected and that I had help from above in our quick and rapid exit. Yesterday, as I was headed by myself to an appointment in Savannah. I was thinking over these thoughts and how sometimes a song can help remind us of good things and help us in our Christian walk. I remember feeling that at the time, I was testifying in my actions and words over those few months following the fire with how I reacted to my state of affairs and how relying on God to meet my needs allowed them to be met immediately and more fulfilled then I could ever have dreamed. I knew I was leery of moving back into an apartment and within 30 days, I was in a rent to own house. I had a house full of furniture and all our needs met. Prior to the fire, I was hardly making it from paycheck to paycheck. So while driving alone. the song "Testify to Love" started singing in my head and guess what song came on the radio? You got it! My song.........isn't God good? He was listening to my thankful heart and gave me a hug from above. Thank you once again Father.

Must be doing something right

Through all the turmoils, trials and strifes it is nice to see a glimmer of hope that my children are learning important things. Twice today I saw the sun glimmering through the shadows and darkness of raising a strong-willed, very stubborn 3 year old.
The first was after dinner when she wanted a snack. She said I want something healthy and was digging in the freezer when I could not understand what she wanted. I had named a dozen things from popcorn, granola, trail mix to grapes and kept getting the look that only an impatient 3 year old can give. Eventually, I heard there it is! Only to see her pull out one of our last ziplock bags of frozen berries that we picked last summer. She and her little sister then sat and enjoyed the frozen treat of blackberries, sharing fairly well. Danielle still needs some help with that but Zoe did great. They were tickled with their colorful fingers when the berries were all gone. How awesome is that for a three year old to realize there are healthy and unhealthy snacks and pick a good one, no check that, GREAT one to share with her sister. One of those shining moments.

Another one that made me SMILE big was..........
Zoe asked to sleep down on the couch tonight. She has asked to sleep there a lot lately and I have allowed her to as she sleeps all night there. In her bed, she tends to wake up at least twice. As long as sleeps all night and is willing to be down there by herself, I will not argue. I pick my battles. So she went back down the stairs in the dark on her own.........I soon heard her voice downstairs and at first I thought she was talking to the dogs...........but it went on and on. Then all of a sudden I heard a very loud AMEN! and all was quiet. So despite the fear that the child is too thick headed and stubborn to learn anything from me..............she is getting it. Something is sinking in and working in her life to know that she can have her own talk with God. It was one of those AHHHHH moments. Just when you want to throw in the towel and take the summer off ...to hear that just lifted my heart and renewed my vigor to teach her the ways of the Lord. Sometimes it seems a 3 year old just does not get it but I think she gets more than it seems at times. She is one smart cookie and likes to help but does not like being told what to do. She is the bossy one and even tries to boss her 10 year old sister around. For now, I suspect Danielle may be the bossiest of the three..I am seeing the tendencies start already.
Being Mommy and Daddy at times is hard and the girls miss their Daddy so much...............but this helped me to see that I must be doing something right while he is gone. I cannot wait for his return home and influence with the girls on a daily basis again. He is a great Father and Daddy to our girls. He is going to be so surprised at how much they have grown while he has been away. In the time he has already been gone, Kendra turned from girl to pre-teen, Zoe went from toddler to kid, and Danielle from baby to toddler. 7 months down..........8 to go!

It has only just begun.........summer is a week underway, and I am hearing the boredom statements already. Now mind you the pre-teen has a broken foot so many activities are out for her at the moment. The 3 year old seems to need entertained..........at all times!!!! and the baby (ahem, toddler now-time sure does fly!) seems content to entertain and play by herself. Not always of course........but she does pretty well. But the attention of kids last about 15-20 minutes these days unless they are completely immersed in a project-------unless of course it is TV and then they can stay for hours in front of the tube.

Dirty kids

Summertime=Dirty kids

I look at my two littles and within 10/15 minutes of being clean, they look like it has been 24 hours since they have been bathed. Even getting in and out of the pool, this GA sand mixed dirt clings and is rather dark. Not the normal brown up north almost a dry potting soil dark. that my littlest loves to dig in.....she loves to feel the soil on her hands. A future gardener, perhaps? Then snacks, oh my.... popsicle stains, koolaid mustaches,watermelon, pudding, ketchup.......you name it whatever it is they have eaten appears all over their little faces and on their clothes. Danielle has started pulling on Zoe's long hair.....my guess is she likes running her hands through it but when sticky it only makes a royal mess. Several times a day Zoe yells for help for me to tell The baby to let go. My 3 yr old needs her hair washed about three times a day, thank goodness she loves the water and baths.....one of those times I just dunk her in the pool to her delight...which helps. It is a vicious cycle it seems. Summertime and dirty kids. Oh well, my attempt is there. Although to others it may look like I gave in a week ago, I promise it was only a matter of moments!!!!
I asked Kendra to bring down her dirty laundry.......it seems the dog got a hold of a dirty diaper and destroyed it on top of the laundry I sent her up with 3 days ago to put away and now it all needs washed again. Dumb Dog....how gross can you be? What were you thinking???? yuck, Yuck, YUCK.
So, no beach for us today.............I will be working on LAUNDRY!

thoughts.........

This has been a very hard deployment, my moods have swung from up to down fairly quickly. Out of the three this is the hardest, we have added a child with each deployment and let me tell you.... Single parenting is a full time job. Sometimes I think working would be easier. No breaks from the kiddos happen when you are with them all the time. With three and homeschooling my housework seems to have taken a backseat. When is there time for that. I try to put things away but forget laundry. I HATE IT. I do not mind washing it and folding it is not so bad but it never gets put away. I tend to waste about two hours a day. Nothing gets done and I lose grip on the house at this time. From 1130-130, I wait on my hubby online. He expects it and our day can not really start until then. My girls are night owls so I let them sleep until about 930-10 on a regular day. My oldest learns best at night....she does not function well during the mornings at all. So after he gets off then the day begins.
I feel so much better being out in the sun, walking in the sand. We are in GA there is no GRASS. Weeds that pass as grass with burrs but no lush green grass to sink your toes in and feel the coolness. I love the beach and the sound of the ocean. To walk by it and view the vastness of it all. To imagine God creating all of it and all the wonders of the ocean. Things known and unknown. That he created the Sun that warms my inner being. The sun seems to help lift me out of my funk. I just miss my hubby and am overwhelmed by the kids, the mess.........the responsiblities these days. 15 months is a long time to be deployed. His R and R is coming up and I can not wait. Have you ever had one of those days (especially if married) that you can not wait to see your spouses face walk through the door for a hug, a word of encouragement or simply to delight in their presence cause you have had a rough day? That is how I feel.
But it will be a while until that relief happens.
so today after 1 you will find us outside enjoying the sun................maybe tomorrow we will head to the beach.............but today after some sun time I hope to clean the living room floors...

Get Away

We had crazy week last week. Kendra broke her foot on Thursday and we were dealing with that. and just a ton of other little things piled up and started overwhelming me. To the point of not being able to do anything.......I sat on a chair and played with the girls reading them books and singing songs, but allowed the house to fall apart. Overwhelmed on where to start cleaning, I would finish a room start on the next and carted things back and forth from room to room messing back up the first. I stopped for Angel Food distribution......... about 1 o'clock Kendra fell at church........her crutches or rather one crutch got stuck in the door and did not swing when she did and she went down. Not a good thing at all. Mr. Arlie lifted the poor girl into a chair and we decided to go be loved on as I needed some help. So by 130 we had run home, packed a overnight bag and took off. We enjoyed great fellowship that night with a bunch of friends at our former church. We participated in their baby day celebration the next morning......helped Isabella celebrate her 3rd birthday at Golden Corral, went shopping at Goody's (going out of business sale) went to see Prince Caspian movie (Zoe stayed with Arlie and Sarah) and ended up home after everything about 915pm on Sunday. I needed that, the kiddos needed that.....and wish it could happen more often. Being away from family is awful......as not everyone can help out with the little things when so far away. I needed a slight reprieve.....less responsibilities for just a few hours. I feel so much better today although walking into the house was like a cold splash of water to the face!

photography by my Dad

Behold, is it not of the Lord of hosts
That the peoples labor to feed the fire,
And nations weary themselves to vain?

For the earth will be filled
With the knowledge of the glory of the Lord,
As the waters cover the sea.
Habakkuk 2:13-14

Govern everything by your wisdom, O Lord, so that my soul may always be serving you in the way you will and not as I choose. Let me die to myself so that I may serve you; let me live to you who are life itself.
— Teresa of Avila

Blessed be the name of God forever and ever,
For wisdom and might are His.
And he changes the times and the seasons,
He removes kings and raises up kings,
He gives wisdom to the wise
And knowledge to those who have understanding.
He reveals deep and secret things.
He knows what is in the darkness.
And light dwells with Him.
I thank You and praise You,
O God of my fathers,
you have given me wisdom an might.
And have now made known to me what we asked of You,
For You have made known to use the king's demand.

Lately, I have felt called to pray for the upcoming elections. I recognize our nation is in the middle of being lost to God. At least that is how I feel it is. We seem to be losing our way with each passing generation. The God of our Fathers is no longer called upon by the masses in making decisions for our country. My prayer is that whomever is elected is raised up by God to that position. PLEASE PRAY WITH ME!

Disappointment

Today my husband let me down. It really rocked me as he has not really ever done that before. He has always followed through, stuck to his word and acted on what he said. ALWAYS. For 6 years of marriage and one year of dating before that ..........he has a great track record.
It was something for someone else and my husband missed the importance of the phone call per my wording in an email. One of his former soldiers that was hurt in OIF3 needed to talk to him. It was the anniversary of his IED accident and he NEEDED to talk. I gave the message that John would call ASAP and for some reason my dear hubby put it off. When I asked if he was able to help today and he told me he did not call I felt like John missed an opportunity to help and to witness to this young man. I felt it deep in my soul and it rocked me. I just did not know what to say to my poor hubby after that. so I did not say much at all. He wanted to get off the internet to go call the guy when he understood the importance of the call and had even im'd his wife to get the number while im'ing me and I just shut down emotionally. I know my hubby felt that. I have felt a burden for this young man since we visited with him at Walter Reed. We have visited several times and have developed a decent friendship. I really like his new wife, who loves him to death.
Have you ever missed an opportunity and knew it soon after? Felt it so deep inside that you let yourself down or knew you let someone else down. I have and it stinks. I have been let down by others before too. so this is not a new feeling just one totally unexpected in this situation. How does God feel when we let him down? When he sets up a whole situation and expects us to follow through and we miss it or ignore it? How many opportunities will he give us to get it right....in this situation John was able to make an attempt to phone him. But what about those situations where you may not have a second opportunity? My prayer is that I, in the future do my best to not miss them and to be open to seeing those situations. May I always be found faithful. My husband is usually and I know he felt bad and quite honestly I am shocked by my own reaction to that today. Usually I would say it's okay and give him grace, as I have with others but today I could not. That is how it is with the kids sometimes too. There are times that you just have to sit by and allow your kids to feel some discomfort for their actions or to feel the consequences of bad choices. That is the way I felt with my hubby today, I had nothing to say to make it feel better. I like that John and I are always on an even, good feeling place and with him being overseas in the middle of a war I defintely do not like the way we left it today... as we can not exactly go to bed all warm and fuzzy tonight. I know he knows I love him so very much but I wish I could tell him so again so we would both feel better! I wish he had called me after his call to our friend. Not to spill the story but just so WE were GOOD again. I miss my hubby, my faithful dependable friend. How many more months until Jan 2009????

Jesus spoke these things; and lifting up His eyes to heaven, He said, "Father, the hour has come; glorify Your Son, that the Son may glorify You, even as You gave Him authority over all flesh, that to all whom You have given Him, He may give eternal life.

"This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.

"I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do.

"Now, Father, glorify Me together with Yourself, with the glory which I had with You before the world was.

John 17:1-5 NASB

May we always in the future be on the same page and be able to work together to glorify him.........may we communicate better so the message gets across one to another more clearly when it needs to. May I as his help-meet be able to show him Grace when I feel disappointment at those times I may need to.
Thank you Father for showing me grace at those times I know I have disappointed you.

You Belong in the Silent Generation

You fit in best with people born between 1925 and 1942. You are a person of high values and character. Family, your country, loyalty, and hard work all important to you. You are willing to do what's right, even when it's difficult.

What Generation Do You Belong In?

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm......

The day before yesterday was rather challenging with the kids. I could not keep up with the littles. Child 1 was working on homework trying to finish up the school year and then was sent outside to play as she had been in all day. This was after an early dinner. The littles dumped a whole bag of cereal on the floor searching for the marshmallows and "feeding the dogs" they claimed. They had asked to get the dogs a treat and I thought they were getting a dog bone out of the closet until I heard the bag dump. While I was cleaning up this mess, they proceeded to go into the school room and quickly found the poster paint..........bright red in color too. They painted the new comforter and bed, each other and left little handprints on everything between that room and me in the kitchen.........including the couch and chair and each other. Child #3 came in the room holding up her hands, telling me to See, See! At first I had no clue as to what was on her hands and then it hit me. Did you know poster paint when dry will not come out? I do now. I first got their hands clean to stop the madness, then grabbed the comforter and threw it in the washing machine. Then started on my furniture. There is a faint trace of shading in places now but I doubt anyone will truly notice. The bed, however, is probably ruined. I think we will flip the mattress but for now the door has been closed and I am trying to forget that room is even there. The paint is now in the trash. A new bottle bought with the hopes of making welcome home signs for Daddy. Oh well. Then they decided to shower themselves with the pile of folded laundry. At this point, I screamed for help from child #1. They still had red dripping hair and needed bathed and their clothes trashed.........and I was losing my patience. Thankfully days like this do not happen often. They ganged up on me and man was I outnumbered. Then, after the bath, child 2 (age 3) decides to let the dogs out. She even asked and I said yes, but did she let them out into the fenced backyard? Nope, out the front door for me to have to proceed to get in the car and chase them down. We have neighbors down the street that are non dog people and called animal control on me once and on top of that the dogs had just gotten fixed and still are healing with stitches from their surgery. Cannot have them running to hurt themselves. So, when I returned child #2 was in tears as she had wanted to go with me......around the block to find the dogs. Naked and dripping running through the neighborhood...NOPE, not happening. Child #1 was in the process of trying to dry and dress them but child#2 was having no part of it. She finally climbed up in my lap and cried herself to sleep. Child #3 at 16 months, seeing Sissy there decided she had to join her and climbed up on the other side of my lap. within 30 minutes both girls were asleep and thoughts of how to keep them all warm and cuddly and well-behaved brought visions of such devises as this cartoon to my mind. I never truly would do it but for a moment it crossed my mind! I wonder if God ever losses patience with us when he sees or catches us making messes. Is this when he calls in reinforcements with the Holy Spirit, Angels and then ultimately Jesus to save us from our sins? When all he wants to do is hold us close and love on us watching over us while we sleep and thinking of all the possiblities our lives hold? Just like a parent even when my kids make huge messes I still love them, their actions will not and can not ever stop that...just like God still loves us despite our messes. Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmm.


New Yorker: Parenting Humor Cartoon for 04/18/2008
Cartoons © 2008 The New Yorker - Cartoonbank.com. All rights reserved

The Lord God is a sun and shield

Photography by Greg Arsenault

For the Lord God is a sun and shield.
The Lord gives grace and glory;
He does not withhold the good from those who live with integrity.
Lord of Hosts, happy is the person who trusts in You!
Psalm 84:11-12



Today we did less schoolwork and had some good clean fun. We basked in the sun and worked on our garden. We finally planted the green beans that I had waited until now on purpose to plant. This way they will be ready when John comes home for R and R. They are his favorite veggies and he loves them fresh and right out of the garden. Let's hope they produce a good hearty yield in time. We also raked up the backyard and mulched the garden with the stuff we gathered.
Then we put up our new pool. It was so nice to feel the sun on our face and shoulders and to do some good hearty work outside. All 3 kids were filthy and nowhere near clean. But they were having fun and working together on a good family project. They had a blast in the pool at the end of the day. Although it was still ice cold water. They could not get me in it.....it was so cold. The warmth of the sun just does something for me ........lifts my mood, lightens my spirit, warms my insides. Something along the same lines as the light of the SON.

How to tell a soldier thanks

Many have asked or mentioned they feel uncomfortable telling a stranger thank you. Here is a really cool idea.http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/fullmovie.php

NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER

This video makes me think and although I have not processed all thoughts to comment thoroughly on it........I can say it has made me think of things of my Lord and in the end that is all that matters. To think on the things of the Lord ...