Friday, November 28, 2008

Things that go unnoticed

Tonight as I was wiping down the front of the cabinets after our cooking adventures with the girls this week, my thoughts were that no one would notice that this had been done. They would notice however, if it were not done (in time, anyway). The build up of gunk would eventually be noticeable to all who entered the domain of my kitchen. Causing one to shrink back with thoughts of ewwwwwww........yuck if left undone. Keeping up with 4 girls...........1 still in diapers, 1 back in pullups cause of the seizures, and the bigger girls who are typical teenagers......is a constant battle.
Just like the little things in a Christian's life. The extra time spent to clear away the little messes or the build up may not be noticeable to others but sure can be seen over time if not dealt with. The extra prayer sent up over a situation or the few minutes to read the Bible are not noticed on the scale of daily activities. But over one's life those are the moments that count as they wipe away the gunk of the world from building up on us. The battle is to make or take the time to study, read, pray as the pressures of daily life can encroach on our personal time set aside to spend with God. Unless made a priority things can quickly start stealing into that time. Recently I have noticed that the more time I can spend with him, the more time I have....and the easier it is to deal with all the other situations. Only He knows all the situations he throws at me on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. Sometimes I feel like God and I are playing dodge ball. but if I allow them to overwhelm me or steal my time with Him, I know in time the gunk that would build up would be unsightly to others. Just like my cabinets, I prefer to take the time to remove the gook. Thank you God for helping me deal with the build up of gook in my life and help me to overlook and not judge the gook I may glimpse in others. I seem to be having thoughts in that direction a lot lately and am concerned about becoming judgemental. Help me with this Father as I so do not want to be as I know how it feels to be judged and know that only You are responsible enough to hold that position. Let me concentrate on my own gook and on you so that I may serve You better and be a good example to the kiddos.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thanksgiving and shopping

http://www.cpmsglife2.org/MSG/Pres/td/td1.html

I was unable to post a video for some reason. This is so worth seeing and sums up all my feelings and thoughts these days. Thought hubby would be home on THE DAY but is not going to happen now. Mixed feelings on that.........any amount over the first brings extra money for the holidays but oh how it would be good to have him home instead. A few little things to buy for stockings and hubby's birthday but all the big stuff is done. Even the girls have completed their shopping after spending 8 hours in Savannah yesterday. Na, Adri, Anne, Zoe, Danielle, Kendri and I spent the day traipsing the mall. The Littles and I were glad to have the double wide stroller but are upset with the stores as it will maneuver in and out very well. Thankfully, we the three of us were more interested in some stores with wider aisles designed for higher traffic.......now the big kiddos hit all the clothes stores. One store I got pulled into.........I had to leave the stroller about 6 feet into the store as it could not be maneuvered within it. UGH........They have stuff piled and one can hardly walk without bumping into all the racks................especially with a purse. Now, that makes it sound like I may have a huge bag drapped over my shoulder not so. I have this over the shoulder purse that is the size of a small handbag. I do not like carrying the world with me wherever I go. Now, the girls all brought small suitcases with them and guess where they left them......in the car. No one wanted to carry their purse around.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Extremes

This week has been one of extremes for Zoe . She is very, very loving and kissing and complimentary one moment but two seconds later something was just not quite to her liking she is having a temper tantrum. I mean little things have thrown her over the edge, the tv was too loud or not loud enough. She could not find a shoe, she was asked to stop kissing her sister, she had one less carrot then her sister or the milk was white and in the wrong cup. These have been exteme behaviors that will stop as quickly as they started and without anyone giving in or babying her. I told everyone just let her be...........as long as she is safe allow her to cry or thrash it out beating up the couch. It has been mind boggling until my neighbors sister (a nurse) said it is a reaction to the seizure. and after a google search. Sure enough.....here is the evidence. I sure hope this goes away quickly. We still have to wait two weeks before they will see her. Time sure can move slowly at times.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Taste of things to come

This week I have been Mom taxi ............Na:Can you pick me up at 430? I need to be back at 545. Then pick me up around 11? While Kendra had a game at 5 which would end at 615. With no minutes to spare it all worked out. I even got to see most of the game.

I did not mind but when I will have three with those type of schedules in the future it could get hairy. Although by that point, Ken could be driving and asking for the keys. YIKES. Hopefully John will be home at that point to help play taxi driver but since we are military who knows. All I could think last night was it will all work out and maybe they will have the same interests and all be going to the same place. Yeah right, I know not likely, but I can dream can't I?

Chicken Tortilla Soup

Danielle, Na and I ate it and loved it. Kendra said it was only okay. Zoe has not been eating much of anything besides salad and cheese this week. (Even asked for it at breakfast) so her opinion does not count as much. She took 4 bites and that was it.

4 chicken breasts cooked in 4 cans low sodium chicken broth shredded or cut into bite size pieces
when this is done add to the chicken and broth
one can of evaporated milk
two cans of enchilada sauce (can be red or green) I used one of each
a can of diced tomatoes
a cup of rice
a small bunch of scallions chopped up
cumin to taste (I omitted)
2 cans of corn
1/2 cup shredded carrots or matchstick carrots ( I grated three carrots really finely as Na does not like carrots normally)
allow to come to full boil then simmer until rice is cooked about 20 minutes

This will feed a small crowd. Great for a Bible Study group, MOPS group or the like. I have enough frozen for probably two more meals.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Teddy Bear Picnic










Somewhere I read that today was National Teddy Bear Day. So we watched a youtube of the cartoon song.........and at lunchtime we decided to have a picnic ........unfortunately we got a bit damp as it was drizzly...............but since I had told the kids what we were doing they insisted on going on with the outside plans for it. Kendra no longer has any teddy bears so she decided to bring our honey bear as her buddy. Zoe's friend-Agirl or Dora (the name has changed twice now) was given to her by those who responded to our 911 call in attempts to get her to follow their directions. It is now her constant buddy. Dani's buddy is her care bear that she has had since her very first Christmas at 4 days old...almost two years ago.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

A New Understanding

Jenny, a military friend of mine, lost her son Ben to SUDEP a year ago. He suffered from seizures and it took awhile to move from seizure disorder to epileptic status in his case. Jenny and I have talked about many things but I never asked for specific details. UNTIL TODAY. Zoe has had three seizures and has just been diagnosed with the disorder. The grand mal seizure this week pushed her out of the thoughts by the docs that she will grow out of it into the status of it being a disorder. The other two seizures she had were when she was quite small and were with fevers. This one was not. It was out of the blue and when she was well and playing. I will never forget watching it from start to finish. Horrific but mild compared to others I have witnessed in my life. Horrific because it was my child. My flesh and blood the child that I am responsible for. I know in my head there is nothing I can do to stop them but my heart cries out to let it be me. I called Jenny today to ask many questions at her request. She had recently stated she was turning her blog from remembering Ben into a way to help others. Never at that time did we think I would be her first to ask. It seems the US does not have much research or sites to gain much information on this. She linked me a site in Canada that has much more info available. Even mentioning a diet to try that may help prevent future occurences. We will not know anything further for a few weeks as they want her body to rest before they take an EEG. She has been extremely tired and hungry until food is in front of her and then she takes about three bites and says her belly is hurting. Not going to push her or upset her or anything. Her life will be calm and quiet for days. Prayers are appreciated! for all of us....my hubby is deployed and just happened to be talking to him when it happened and need I tell you how worried he was not being here to see or help, then her 10 year old sister had to deal with calling 911 but she did GREAT. our foreign exchange student got to ride in the ambulance with Zoe and I actually beat them to the hospital in the Expedition. I went by the side gate and they went in the main gate. All I can say is that I am glad we put our kids first and will never have regrets of we should have taken her to the Princess breakfast, or the beach, or wherever................. We did, we loved all our kids above and beyond. The housework waited at times, but the stories were read, the games were played, the kids were loved., theprayers were said.

However, Mommy should have known when Zoe was driving me nuts touching me constantly last week that something was up. although at the time she was not sick or running a fever and said she felt ok........she is a very loving child but this was EXTREME behavior. Now I know this clue that something just does not feel right to her and will be more on guard. A New Understanding of several things was discovered this week. We know that Zoe is a gift of God given to us for a time to help in her upbringing but that she is only loaned to us and belongs to God. We gave her back to him with the commitment that we would be dedicated to raising her to know him as Lord and Saviour. We continue to hold that commitment. After this incident and remembering Ben, Zoe and I had another talk about how God created her and he has a big house in Heaven that someday she can live in and that Mommy and Daddy and many others she knows will be there too. She said she wanted to stay with Mommy and I said that I want that to but know that only one other loves you more than your Mom and Dad and that is God. I have a renewed interest in making sure this little one accepts those facts and believes earlier in life than Kendra did but at the same time I do not want to be one of those parents that shove their faith and ideas into a kids head that they rebel. I know they see John and I as examples of faith in action and hope that they recognize early that we are only human that although we try we goof up and need HIM through everything to make things right. Please pray for us it has been a tough week.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I scared Mommy

Last night we completed our day with attending Disney On Ice's Mickey and Minnie's Magical Adventure. It was really good.......but near the end they had lots of fireworks and loud noises (Peter Pan scene). Danielle who was at that time sharing M and M's and a seat with Zoe, dropped the bag on the floor and came swiftly with tears to my lap and stated I scared Mommy and hunkered down pulling my arms around her. She was content to stay there and refused any more from anyone after that.
Made me compare this to me. During my scare, this little recent episode of you have abnormal blood cells it could be leukemia we need to run lots more tests, we will not open you up for fear of what it might or could do scare. Left me much like Danielle. Running to my Heavenly Father to rest in his arms. All other people or things did not matter so much. No one could bring me comfort like he did. During my resting on him time, we discovered my cells were not cancerous but suffocating. Pernicious Anemia brought on by my inability to break down food or vitamins after my gastric bypass several years ago. It had been going on for years, no one had caught or treated it and my cells had gotten so sick they were now abnormal looking. Like Danielle, I am content to stay right here in this comfort zone soaking up HIM. Not ready to move back out to serving others again. Danielle was the same way last night.... she no matter what Zoe said, did not want to share any more with her....not the seat, not the candies. Very similar to how much pressure you can receive from church members that have come to rely on you to do things...................then after a bit you get completely ignored. Zoe eventually gave up and continued on with the show. When the lights came back on Danielle still wanted Mommy but was willing to walk until the crowds got thick and pushy as everyone tried to reach the same portal. At that point, she gladly got lifted up and brought to safety up on my shoulders., where she could not get trampled on. Zoe a bit more mature and a little bit taller got buffeted by my body as we made our way through the crowds. Just a reminder that Jesus has done that for us too. Thank you so much Father for the time in your arms, reminding me of whose I am, and for the gift of your son, whose body buffets the penalties for me.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Fall Festival







Last Saturday we went to a fall festival on post. It was supposed to be a family event but they did not have the teen activities like bungee jumping and rock wall climbing like they have had in the past. We stayed about an hour and then we were done. As the big kids weren't too thrilled with it. ...this was really directed for 7 and under. So despite the littles protests they did everything once. a few things twice and we were out of there. But we do have some pics I had thought were cute of the girls.

Disney Princess Breakfast















This morning Zoe and I had a Mommy and Me date...........Kendra tagged along but we left Na and Dani home.
Dani is scared of the costumed characters and I thought it would be too much for her. Na was not interested so it worked out. Breakfast was substandard but the 3 yr old kiddo did not eat much anyway with everyone from Winnie the Pooh to Cruella DeVil to 5 of the Princesses going from table to table for pictures and autographs. Zoe had a blast! and we visited Snow White three times. Cinderella twice....would have been more but she was the favorite and she had long lines everywhere she went with kids following along behind. Kendra has really outgrown this and was rather bored except for talking with her friends who were acting as hostesses.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Quandry






One of Na's vocab words this week. I really feel that way tonight. She is marching for the first time and I want to be there. This school does not march at half time but post game. Not sure why......hardly anyone sticks around but I want to be there. However, Dani just woke up from a late nap.running a fever from four teeth coming in. and Zoe played hard outside and will not last until 10pm=she is tired and whiny already tonight! UGH. Kendra really wants to go so I cannot convince her to stay home with her sisters if I were to even attempt getting someone to stay with them for that bit of time.
If only John were here..........one of us could stay and one could go. oh what to do?


update: we ended up going. I could not disappoint. I know that feeling and if possible do not want to be the one to cause it on another. I really wanted Na to feel we support her and will be there to share in her achievements. Kendra said she would deal with Zoe and did. The bleachers scare me as they are all open and quite steep. The littles could easily fall through them. Na did well and was very pleased to see us. I was glad we went. Dani did not even wiggle to get off my lap once and just cuddled in.............the only time she even lifted her head was when Kendra handed her a nacho.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Quit touching me!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are a parent you may have heard this from your kiddos a million times. Can you just imagine the kiddos in the back seat arguing and whining Mom/Dad he is touching me again!!But have you ever said it? I found myself saying it about 20x this morning. Thinking back it started early yesterday. My middle kiddo seems to be going through some stage and is driving me nuts. I can not move beyond her reach without tears. I can preoccupy her for about 5 minutes before she comes looking for me. Privacy is of no concern to her.......she has followed me into every room of the house. I had to drag her hands off me to even get dressed. She slept with me last night, which did not allow me to sleep well as she tosses and turns and steals covers. I pity her future husband. I even woke up with her feet in my face at one point. I thought helping me to bake this morning would be a hands on activity with Mommy that would fill the desire but give me some space. BAD IDEA! Have you ever tried to measure with two little ones clambering and arguing to be on your lap and be the helper. I think this only heightened my frustration. Finally this morning, I promised her a Mommy and Me date if she could sit still and watch Caillou for the whole show. Since she loves going to get tea......at the coffee shop maybe I can breathe for a minute. So I am blogging and drinking a sugar free energy drink recouping for a few minutes. Please pray for this child and ME that she outgrows this soon or that December arrives quickly so Daddy can share in this clingyness. He will love it!!!!!!!! I love my kiddo but constant touching does get old.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Election night




We had been anticipating the release of HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL for months. Back in August we had plans to attend with Anne and Adri........then Na said she would like to go too. So last night was the first night we could all go. No band, no football games, no tutoring, no festivals, we all had a clear schedule. We pretty much had the whole theater to ourselves as the rest of the world was at home glued to their TV's watching history happen we guess. since the election really is not over until some point after 9 and whatever happens would happen irregardless of us or not. We went. The girls all loved it. Anne and Kendri cried. Zoe and Danielle sat quietly for 3/4 of the movie then ran around the theater. After the show we went by the German restaurant to drop them off and found out that some idiot had called shooting threats into the school so we kept the girls home today as the words were something to a racist effect. The organization agreed better safe than sorry. Such idiots. I may not be comfortable with who is leading now but it has nothing to do with the color of his skin. I just continue to pray for America. The color of one's skin has nothing to do with their character..........that is just nuts. An idiot is an idiot no matter what color as proved by the ones calling in the threats today and the many different races over history . So the girls had an easy day today. It was a nice break.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Halloween








Not real sure where I stand on trick or treating these days..............over the years it seems to have changed. When I grew up every house handed out candy.....it was an odd house that did not. My Dad walked me around with a bunch of the neighbor kids and Mom stayed home and handed out the candy. As we do these days, the candy was checked before we could eat it unless of course we KNEW the family. In our small town in NJ, it seemed that we knew all the neighbors. These days, we only know a few neighbors and it is a random house that hands out candy and there are rarely Dad's out there walking the kiddos......that could be because we are military and a lot of the Dad's are deployed but even then the few Dad's I did see were with the wife too. Times sure have changed.................Our kiddos did go ......as Princesses. We are constantly reminding them that they are God's Princesses and Daddy's too. Kendra wa unable to find a princess outfit but found this belly dancer and said she performs for the Princesses. hmmmmmmm. I guess in a way in real life she does.