The deep things unsaid

I typed up a whole paragraph and Danielle came in and hit a button and there it went. UGH. but then maybe that was God editing me from sharing too much. I saw a glimpse of the things that run deep for John this weekend. The things that go unsaid from war. We talk a lot, he is my best friend and is not always this tease others see out in public. At home he is never like that. Only out in public. We have an agreement that I will not push him to talk about war or the things he chooses to hold in unless of course they are hurting him, us or the family. I respect his silence but saw some of the pain this weekend in a one minute conversation about another soldier he apologized to for not attending the wreath ceremony. I had mentioned it to him a few days earlier but he never commented on it much. I had no clue that he really felt he should be there or we would have juggled the girls birthday party to later in the day. It was not until an hour before with 7 kiddos to head to Chuck E Cheese in Savannah that I knew a little of his thoughts. It was about a four sentence interchange and the veil went back up on the subject but the glimpse allowed me to see that thoughts and things run deep for him. My husband does not like to disappoint anyone and makes an effort to prevent that so unlike the persona he displays in public. So now I feel he worries about the I should have been there on top of the pain from war. but those deep things remain unsaid. and I may only catch a glimpse now and then when he chooses to open up.