Treasure

Zoe and I were the first to recognize God had turned the lights on today. So we slowly crept downstairs in the attempts to let the other kiddos sleep without disturbing them. She of course then asked to watch Dora......so we did together. Dora's adventures today took her through a jungle, then through a (draw)bridge and then to treasure island. Zoe immediately wondered what could be in the treasure box and we started naming things. Toys, chocolate, jewelry, and then she surprised me and said Dani Raybus (she meant Travis). How that warmed my heart!!! To think my 3 year old thinks her little sister is a treasure. AWWWWWWW. I, of course quickly confirmed that yes she is! as are you and Kendra too. That was so sweet Zo-Zo you are a great big sister.
Then Dora's adventures began.............I missed the jungle scene as my youngest treasure heard the theme songs for Dora and wanted up out of her crib now also. Diaper change and sippy stopped me from getting back for that scene. However, when they arrived at the bridge it told them that there is only one way through it. (Sound vaguely familiar to anyone?) John 14:6 "I am the way, the truth, and the life:no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." then Dora and her crew were warned of the foggy fog with the words "when you are in the middle of it -it is hard to see where you are going" and then of the rocky rocks "be careful you do not crash your vessel into them". (LESSON They needed to steer their path around them) finally they arrived at their destination and were appreciative of the help they had received along the way. I like it when I can pull a lesson out of a show to point my kids in the way Christ would have them to go. I just wish it were as easy when we are older.

All this reminded me of truly how much my daughters are treasures...gifts from God..............but honestly I have only been entrusted to their care. Kind of like the Matthew 25:14-20 story about the talents. I want them to grow in their knowledge and love of the Lord our God to help when these foggy and rocky times come (as they will). I want them to share this love with others in order to reach the lost. It is really more like preparing them to be gifts back onto God. Pleasing and a treasure onto Him.

What color????????

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey. You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Isn't that what blogging is all about? Listing my thoughts and feelings? Recently someone told me I hurt their feelings (and no it was not my hubby-He likes reading my blogs even when it is negative about him as sometimes he finds things out or understands me better by reading it.) ok back to what I was saying they said I hurt them by blogging my thoughts but I had not mentioned their name and not a sole knows of whom I referred. Now they are no longer friendly with me. They disagreed with my actions in a situation and turned their backs on my family. It amazed me and floored me. I already was having a tough time. I now feel I can share with everyone what all was going on. The surgeon refused to do my surgery just days before as I was critically anemic (a flat 7 with a 28) whatever that REALLY means. The only good thing was my blood clotting numbers were normal. He said he was amazed I was mobile and not passing out. I had too many white blood cells and my red blood cells were abnormal looking. He thought I may have cancer--of the spleen, lymphoma or leukemia. Tests so far have not confirmed any of that. I am still glad he chose not to at that point. We just did not know. At this point, I may just have an infection or something going on with my spleen. They have given me extra b12 shots and I seem to be absorbing my iron pills better with those. I have actually gone up 2 points in 2 weeks. I am still awaiting my appt with a hematologist but the PCP is working with me in the meantime. The surgeon said no way am I cutting you open at this point. The hematolgist will have to clear you and your numbers be up into the normal range first. Hubby was home when I got this news but I knew he would not be here whenever the diagnosis would come. But so far it does not appear to be cancer and I am going to think positive about it. After losing Christina, my best friend from college, a year ago to cancer....it really threw me for a loop. I think it would anyone who has children and an absentee husband. Believe me he is an absentee only cause he is deployed. Otherwise he is very hands on. But this is his career and we have to deal........
Along with this news we also had two new additions, our foreign exchange girls joined our family and we were all trying to get to know each other and find our way. To get settled in a routine, etc. But seemed to have too much outside interference at first. Cell phones and internet can be great things and at other times damaging. We attempted to limit this and things were going great. Friendships were being made and relationships were starting to develop. Then a message received via email. "Call a face to face discussion needs to happen within the next 2 days...I cannot express how imperative this is." 12 hours before my husband headed back to war we were forced to make a decision or felt we were at that time. We made one (a rash one but with our time restraints it had to be) and I guess that decision forever damaged my relationship with this friend. Christian compassion is nowhere to be found even though the stress on me was tremendous at that moment brought about by one too many things thrown at me in rapid fire. I am just numb about it all. I am struggling with dealing with other Christians at this point. Everyone is suspect. How many are true, how many are fake? Do people truly try to live out their faith or is it just an act on their part? Is there such thing as Christian charity or compassion or does everyone judge another? I know at times both John and I have fallen into that trap but usually not at the same time and we call each other out on it. This month has really thrown me for a loop...not at all what August was supposed to be like.
every other rough time in my life I have felt God there......amidst the chaos and strife. This time I don't feel him but am hanging on to the faith that he is there. Gotta tell ya......it's harder to pray when you are hurting and when you see kids hurt. He has proven it to me before.........answered prayers many a time. I know he is there, I know he understands, I know he forgives, I know he heals, I know these things thankfully...... just wish I could feel them this time. I guess it is just going to take some healing time before I do. I covet your prayers. We still are awaiting a diagnosis and I still would LOVE my surgery. I was so looking forward to not carrying this tire of skin around or these bhb's (basset hound boobies) as I have so lovingly nicknamed them. So my purple blog is all about me........but isn't that who you logged in to read about? Me and my thoughts? If not you logged in to the wrong blog. But thanks for reading and please pray for me anyway. It would be much appreciated. as I am having such a difficult time doing that these days on my own. I have been able to joyfully say the prayers with my girls still but my private one on one time has been rather dry.......

another day

Well hubby has arrived back in the sandpit...........not all the way back but way too far from home. He is at stop three with two more to go. He visited Ireland on his way back this time. His flight was good but leaving all the turmoil behind has not helped him return to WORK at all. I worry about him more now. The next 6 months will not be relaxing for any of us.
Kendra had a hard time in school today and brought home two F's. She could not concentrate and I can understand that. Beside getting laundry done (washed and folded, but not put away) All the laundry...........towels from the beach, the vacation clothes and 6 beds.......nothing else got done. There are not dishes in the sink, but the carpet needs a once over but I am tired. Physically, emotionally drained. I really feel like someone has put me through the spin cycle in the washing machine and hung me upside down to dry. Then beat me with a broom.

Life is horrible................

Well upon returning to the room after the awesome morning we had.......we find an email from the academic coordinator........The girls via their families and Northwest have tried to strongarm us to move the girls to their own room...well it is not going to happen. Two beds will not fit in that room nor does the bunkbed as we tried it already. We even had to go buy them extra dressers (which will no way fit in there)as their stuff did not fit into the two we had emptied for them before their arrival. Then they wanted us to hold the girls until Wednesday. Nice............. my husband heads back to war tomorrow. I cannot handle two different separation times. I will not have my girls deal with just getting over Daddy leave then have to deal with the girls also. This sucks. We or rather John is going to deposit the girls with the academic coordinator within two hours. Quick and final break. Kendra and Zoe are so upset Zoe is throwing up. Adrienn does not want to stay if Anne does not. We have tried so hard with them but will not be strongarmed to move my baby out of the room that only holds her crib and nothing else. She needs that extra sleep and can only get it there. Since Kendra has returned to public school and gets up at the crack of dawn (530am) as her bus comes before 7 in the morning........she cannot stay in the same room with the bigger girls. Zoe can sleep thru a train wreck but Dani who blinks at the first creak of a floor board cannot. I cannot do it and need to think of my kids first I guess. Kendra was willing to sleep on the futon and move out but where would Zoe go? Into my bed I think not .....not after fighting so hard to get her out of there. We have asked the big girls their opinions on everything we have done or......... taken in their opinions before making any decisions and almost feel used at this point. Especially with the vacation and fun stuff we have done...even food choices. We have catered to them including purchasing an electronic dictionary to help at school and posters they like for the walls. I had no idea who Renaldo was until they arrived. (a soccer player). Life sucks. I hate this. my girls are so upset, I am so upset and John has cried too. Supposedly Northwest is insisting on it. Well I guess they have two girls on their hands then........as John will not let me deal with this beyond his departure. We tried to have the girls call their Mom to see what was up as they claimed they wanted to stay but Anne's Mom did not want to talk with her about it. Anne seemed to be under the impression at first that she was going to the academic coordinators to talk only....I impressed upon her to leave us since she was not allowed to stay in a room with my kids. The girls have said their goodbyes, Kendra has now thrown up. Zoe has thrown up......I have a killer headache and just want life to stop and let me off for a bit.
Thanks to someone I thought I was sharing a confidence with as to why my surgery was cancelled ..it has become part of the decision to remove the girls from our home. VERY PREMATURE and should not be an issue at this point at all as no test results have uncovered anything. My husband says thanks so much for keep bringing it up as if he is not having a hard enough time returning to Iraq for the next 6 months! Only when the test results are given do we know what is going on.......No worries until then.