My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
— Psalm 62:7-8, NIV


For years, I have prayed for child number one's father. Although he is a great guy, he has made poor choices in his life that had taken him farther and farther from church. Last summer, he had the opportunity to spend some time in our home and to meet my husband for the first time. Although it was kinda odd at first for all, it ended up being a great time of healing for each of us. My husband had a preconceived idea of him, he had no clue what my hubby would be like, and child number one had tried building a wall between her and my hubby at times. Feeling a bit like where should my loyalties lie how can I be faithful to both of you? Spending time and doing things together and allowing one on one time for Daddy M and daughter and making sure that happened were instrumental in this healing.
Daddy M Has not played a prevalent part in her life ever.....always his choice. Until this last year.......... as we have pushed Kendra into what is now a comfort zone with him. She now will pick up the phone and call instead of making her do so. This is all a good thing. Some decisions have been made in her Daddy M's life lately that seem like he is getting life back together again. We have had many conversations about attending church again and we tell him constantly that we are praying for him. This seems to have made the ground fertile. It seemed to touch his heart when Kendra said she remembers praying for him everynight all her life! Even when he was entirely out of the picture. Satan of course is not liking this and has thrown some severe obstacles in the way the last 5 days.
After prayerful consideration, we are going to write off the child support that he is in arrearage for our family. Although it is quite a chunk and would be very beneficial to our family. We are making it without it. He has come a long way and we fear despite the fact that this was a poor decision on his part, circumstances played a part too in the fact that she is now one of 5 children and he is struggling with those payments too.
Our other option was allowing him to go to jail for not paying child support and not only does he lose a good job that he has been on for 5 years, but 4 other kids will also be affected....who he is trying to support. This will also cause anger to get back into him and he will put up that wall of resentment again and it will or could be years until he comes back around. Destroying the fact that he is now open to attending church and praying with our daughter and us. He believes in God and just needs to recommit. I just want to reach out and push him over the edge he seems to be straddling.
We feel at peace with this decision..it is only money and God knows and will meet us at whatever need we may have in the future. He knows our intent......and our hearts. We trust in HIM, and feel we are being guided in this although it does seem a strange direction. But as always, we follow where he leads. If it wins another soul for him more to HIS GLORY. PLEASE PRAY WITH US ABOUT THIS.