Testify to Love

It's been 9 years.......a lifetime it seems at times, just yesterday at other times. I have thought a lot the last few days of the morning of Memorial Day 9 years ago. A day of many changes for me! I woke up in my nice warm bed at 3ish that morning to make a quick exit of my home with baby in tow. When the sun came up that morning, my home (apartment building) was no more. As we had just finished watching in pretty much burn to the ground and destroy almost all our earthly possessions. What I was left with was my beautiful 17 month old daughter, my keys to my car and my faith in God. The song Testify to Love by Avalon was just becoming popular at the time and I clung to it and played it as my theme song over and over. I knew that we were able to get out safely due to the fact that we were loved, protected and that I had help from above in our quick and rapid exit. Yesterday, as I was headed by myself to an appointment in Savannah. I was thinking over these thoughts and how sometimes a song can help remind us of good things and help us in our Christian walk. I remember feeling that at the time, I was testifying in my actions and words over those few months following the fire with how I reacted to my state of affairs and how relying on God to meet my needs allowed them to be met immediately and more fulfilled then I could ever have dreamed. I knew I was leery of moving back into an apartment and within 30 days, I was in a rent to own house. I had a house full of furniture and all our needs met. Prior to the fire, I was hardly making it from paycheck to paycheck. So while driving alone. the song "Testify to Love" started singing in my head and guess what song came on the radio? You got it! My song.........isn't God good? He was listening to my thankful heart and gave me a hug from above. Thank you once again Father.

Must be doing something right

Through all the turmoils, trials and strifes it is nice to see a glimmer of hope that my children are learning important things. Twice today I saw the sun glimmering through the shadows and darkness of raising a strong-willed, very stubborn 3 year old.
The first was after dinner when she wanted a snack. She said I want something healthy and was digging in the freezer when I could not understand what she wanted. I had named a dozen things from popcorn, granola, trail mix to grapes and kept getting the look that only an impatient 3 year old can give. Eventually, I heard there it is! Only to see her pull out one of our last ziplock bags of frozen berries that we picked last summer. She and her little sister then sat and enjoyed the frozen treat of blackberries, sharing fairly well. Danielle still needs some help with that but Zoe did great. They were tickled with their colorful fingers when the berries were all gone. How awesome is that for a three year old to realize there are healthy and unhealthy snacks and pick a good one, no check that, GREAT one to share with her sister. One of those shining moments.

Another one that made me SMILE big was..........
Zoe asked to sleep down on the couch tonight. She has asked to sleep there a lot lately and I have allowed her to as she sleeps all night there. In her bed, she tends to wake up at least twice. As long as sleeps all night and is willing to be down there by herself, I will not argue. I pick my battles. So she went back down the stairs in the dark on her own.........I soon heard her voice downstairs and at first I thought she was talking to the dogs...........but it went on and on. Then all of a sudden I heard a very loud AMEN! and all was quiet. So despite the fear that the child is too thick headed and stubborn to learn anything from me..............she is getting it. Something is sinking in and working in her life to know that she can have her own talk with God. It was one of those AHHHHH moments. Just when you want to throw in the towel and take the summer off ...to hear that just lifted my heart and renewed my vigor to teach her the ways of the Lord. Sometimes it seems a 3 year old just does not get it but I think she gets more than it seems at times. She is one smart cookie and likes to help but does not like being told what to do. She is the bossy one and even tries to boss her 10 year old sister around. For now, I suspect Danielle may be the bossiest of the three..I am seeing the tendencies start already.
Being Mommy and Daddy at times is hard and the girls miss their Daddy so much...............but this helped me to see that I must be doing something right while he is gone. I cannot wait for his return home and influence with the girls on a daily basis again. He is a great Father and Daddy to our girls. He is going to be so surprised at how much they have grown while he has been away. In the time he has already been gone, Kendra turned from girl to pre-teen, Zoe went from toddler to kid, and Danielle from baby to toddler. 7 months down..........8 to go!

It has only just begun.........summer is a week underway, and I am hearing the boredom statements already. Now mind you the pre-teen has a broken foot so many activities are out for her at the moment. The 3 year old seems to need entertained..........at all times!!!! and the baby (ahem, toddler now-time sure does fly!) seems content to entertain and play by herself. Not always of course........but she does pretty well. But the attention of kids last about 15-20 minutes these days unless they are completely immersed in a project-------unless of course it is TV and then they can stay for hours in front of the tube.

Dirty kids

Summertime=Dirty kids

I look at my two littles and within 10/15 minutes of being clean, they look like it has been 24 hours since they have been bathed. Even getting in and out of the pool, this GA sand mixed dirt clings and is rather dark. Not the normal brown up north almost a dry potting soil dark. that my littlest loves to dig in.....she loves to feel the soil on her hands. A future gardener, perhaps? Then snacks, oh my.... popsicle stains, koolaid mustaches,watermelon, pudding, ketchup.......you name it whatever it is they have eaten appears all over their little faces and on their clothes. Danielle has started pulling on Zoe's long hair.....my guess is she likes running her hands through it but when sticky it only makes a royal mess. Several times a day Zoe yells for help for me to tell The baby to let go. My 3 yr old needs her hair washed about three times a day, thank goodness she loves the water and baths.....one of those times I just dunk her in the pool to her delight...which helps. It is a vicious cycle it seems. Summertime and dirty kids. Oh well, my attempt is there. Although to others it may look like I gave in a week ago, I promise it was only a matter of moments!!!!
I asked Kendra to bring down her dirty laundry.......it seems the dog got a hold of a dirty diaper and destroyed it on top of the laundry I sent her up with 3 days ago to put away and now it all needs washed again. Dumb Dog....how gross can you be? What were you thinking???? yuck, Yuck, YUCK.
So, no beach for us today.............I will be working on LAUNDRY!

thoughts.........

This has been a very hard deployment, my moods have swung from up to down fairly quickly. Out of the three this is the hardest, we have added a child with each deployment and let me tell you.... Single parenting is a full time job. Sometimes I think working would be easier. No breaks from the kiddos happen when you are with them all the time. With three and homeschooling my housework seems to have taken a backseat. When is there time for that. I try to put things away but forget laundry. I HATE IT. I do not mind washing it and folding it is not so bad but it never gets put away. I tend to waste about two hours a day. Nothing gets done and I lose grip on the house at this time. From 1130-130, I wait on my hubby online. He expects it and our day can not really start until then. My girls are night owls so I let them sleep until about 930-10 on a regular day. My oldest learns best at night....she does not function well during the mornings at all. So after he gets off then the day begins.
I feel so much better being out in the sun, walking in the sand. We are in GA there is no GRASS. Weeds that pass as grass with burrs but no lush green grass to sink your toes in and feel the coolness. I love the beach and the sound of the ocean. To walk by it and view the vastness of it all. To imagine God creating all of it and all the wonders of the ocean. Things known and unknown. That he created the Sun that warms my inner being. The sun seems to help lift me out of my funk. I just miss my hubby and am overwhelmed by the kids, the mess.........the responsiblities these days. 15 months is a long time to be deployed. His R and R is coming up and I can not wait. Have you ever had one of those days (especially if married) that you can not wait to see your spouses face walk through the door for a hug, a word of encouragement or simply to delight in their presence cause you have had a rough day? That is how I feel.
But it will be a while until that relief happens.
so today after 1 you will find us outside enjoying the sun................maybe tomorrow we will head to the beach.............but today after some sun time I hope to clean the living room floors...

Get Away

We had crazy week last week. Kendra broke her foot on Thursday and we were dealing with that. and just a ton of other little things piled up and started overwhelming me. To the point of not being able to do anything.......I sat on a chair and played with the girls reading them books and singing songs, but allowed the house to fall apart. Overwhelmed on where to start cleaning, I would finish a room start on the next and carted things back and forth from room to room messing back up the first. I stopped for Angel Food distribution......... about 1 o'clock Kendra fell at church........her crutches or rather one crutch got stuck in the door and did not swing when she did and she went down. Not a good thing at all. Mr. Arlie lifted the poor girl into a chair and we decided to go be loved on as I needed some help. So by 130 we had run home, packed a overnight bag and took off. We enjoyed great fellowship that night with a bunch of friends at our former church. We participated in their baby day celebration the next morning......helped Isabella celebrate her 3rd birthday at Golden Corral, went shopping at Goody's (going out of business sale) went to see Prince Caspian movie (Zoe stayed with Arlie and Sarah) and ended up home after everything about 915pm on Sunday. I needed that, the kiddos needed that.....and wish it could happen more often. Being away from family is awful......as not everyone can help out with the little things when so far away. I needed a slight reprieve.....less responsibilities for just a few hours. I feel so much better today although walking into the house was like a cold splash of water to the face!

photography by my Dad

Behold, is it not of the Lord of hosts
That the peoples labor to feed the fire,
And nations weary themselves to vain?

For the earth will be filled
With the knowledge of the glory of the Lord,
As the waters cover the sea.
Habakkuk 2:13-14