heavy heart

I spoke with my friend Lex, who lives in Savannah last night again. Her husband died the week of Thanksgiving in a car accident. His fault due to drinking and driving. His alcoholism was not a secret and the last year had been bad. He had been in a treatment facility also. Lex went to the Nazarene church with me in Savannah and his parents attended the Nazarene church here in Hinesville with me also. I knew them well............not Leon at all but I knew Lex loved him unconditionally and wanted the best for him always.
I have been praying for her and family. He left behind four kiddos that Lex is now caring for. A set of 17 year old twins, a 10 or 11 year old (I think) and Zoe's bestest friend Izzy B who is 3 just like her.
Well Izzy B has been telling her Mama this week that Mama is a big girl not a baby and should not be crying. Lex said she tries the Care Bear Stare to help make her happy. and then comes up and pushes her cheeks up and tells her to keep it that way. The poor kiddo............she misses her Daddy and loves her Mama so much. I did not understand completely the why's when my Mom died and I was 16 how do you explain to a 3 year old ....a very intelligent 3 year old at that. Her comprehension is just not mature enough to grasp it all. She just knows Daddy is gone and Mommy is sad. She asked my advice but really beyond prayer and love I have no clue. This little girl was at her grandparents when it happened and does not want to go back without her Mama as she is scared Lex will die too if she is there. This is going to upset the grandparents to no end as they adore Izzy B. Any advice? I remember that fear and I think only time took it away.......I was scared to go to college, to have my Dad fly off to Boston to visit Barb (while they were dating). What if something happened..... He was all I had now. As I developed my own life these fears dissolved but man at the age of 3 that could take awhile. I was forced into it and can not say I went willingly and hate that year of change in my life. Every day and every change was like saying goodbye again. It was the worst but again I was 17 when most of the changes happened she is 3! I tossed and turned thinking about her all night and how to answer her question. I do not think there are really any answers. So prayers for her my friends............and for Lex and the boys. My heart is heavy for them today.

oh so sweet.........

It is so nice to have my hubby home and to be able to tell the kids go ask Daddy. To know that he is willing and able to help with the kiddos. To be able to breathe without feeling that I am always on duty. I actually was able to take a nap this afternoon. I only ended up sleeping 10 minutes but honestly I felt like I had been asleep for 2 hours. To completely relax was wonderful. I actually asked what I missed when I woke up and John said "you are kidding right?-you have only been upstairs like maybe 10 minutes Did you sleep?" Did I ever!
Pictures of the last few days are unavailable for a few more days as I sent my card home with Stacy whose husband came home last night and we helped her with her 5 kiddos during the ceremony and then transported his gear home as there was no room for it in their vehicle. I took lots of pics of their reunion and wanted her to have the pics right away.
Today we went out with the plans to go to the Oatland Island Zoo but due to incoming dark rain clouds we changed our plans. We ended up at the bowling alley and bowled 2 games. I won the first round and John won the second. The littles loved pushing the ball on the ramp thing. Kendra has progressed beyond it but still wants the bumpers (although I suggest next time she does without them just to see) We spent several hours there as they have a lunch special that includes, 2 games, shoes, drink and 2 slices of pizza or a burger so we ate there too. I could not believe we spent close to 3 hours there but we did.
Tonight we are just hanging out.......working on quilts, bathing children, iming with friends and watching tv. oh so sweet.............

My Shopping excursion at 5am

I told Kendra and the girls that we were going shopping early this am to get my Christmas present. This is what I came home with..................................





MY HUBBY! It is going to be a wonderful Christmas.

The weekend

it is 7pm on a Friday night and I need to get to sleep as my early morning plans will be upon me soon. I need to be out of the house about 445 in the morning to get to my Christmas present destination in time. But to convince the kiddos to go to sleep this early is a no go. So I figure 10pm after the Drake and Josh movie will not be asking too much. Then tomorrow night we have invited several people to go to The Journey with us. I attended this last year with some other military wives and it was AWESOME. I am so glad we can do this as a family this year. Next year we will not be here and will have to see what we can discover in that neck of the woods. But I am so excited about it this year! This weekend is going to be so good.

Treasure

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Luke 12:34).

I have been watching the pile of presents under the tree increase so much it has spilled out into the room. Partly because our new tree is the tall skinny kind and not the wide girth one.......that the branches do not cover much at all. Last years bit the dust as the boys decided it was a chew toy and treated it as and outdoor tree. (yuck but now the boys are no longer intact and much better behaved) So I digress. In my process of weeding out for a upcoming move, the girls really are not getting many toys this year. A lot of these presents are things the whole family will enjoy doing together or some personal things that are needed/wanted. I removed 8 garbage bags of items from the house that have just been stored and moved but not used. No real sentimental value to these things was had by anyone just held on to for the "I can see this being useful" thought. Well, in reality we are not going to use it we have not used it, etc.
This began my thinking back to where I store up my treasure and my attachment to belongings. I really do not have an attachment but to my hubby, my kids, and pictures. All other items can be replaced and in the end do not matter. I can state this firsthand and mean it as a fire 10 years ago took everything from me but my daughter and my faith in God that he was watching out for me and in control. I still feel that way. The accumulation of stuff has happened over the years since as has a marriage, a melding of our two household goods, and two additional children. I think stuff just happens but not in any of it do I consider my treasure. If need by, I can walk out of the house today with my kids, hubby and photo albums and be content. I stated this ten years ago right after my fire, all the items are just kindling and I can not take them with me out of this life.
I would rather store up my treasure in Heaven and look to him for my help and guidance than in the things of this world. I learned the lesson of materialism overnight. What am I teaching my kids? Does the pile under the tree teach them to want the newest and best as toted on the tv or teach them about family and values and God? hmmmmm. I need to think on that. I hope I have leaned farther to the right than the wrong with our presents and will think harder on that as I make purchases for birthdays, holidays in the future.
"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" (Luke 12:34).

Love those Magic Erasers!!!!!!!

While wrapping presents today, my permanent marker came up missing. Since Danielle was sick and napping with Kendra and Zoe was assisting me...I figured it had disappeared under the neat piles I was creating. Ha ha......ok to be honest the total chaos more describes what was created on my bed. So it was much to my surprise when Danielle came out of the bathroom(not asleep!?!?!) (remember she is not potty trained yet) and shuts the door and takes off running when she sees me. I immediately knew something was up but when I went into the bathroom all was in order except I saw the missing marker lying closed on the floor. Phew, I thought and proceeded on with my day. About an hour later, Kendra says Mom the girls are going to be in BIG trouble...have you seen the back of the bathroom door? closing my eyes and saying a prayer and taking a deep breathe, I proceeded to see the damage that was done to the door. From my waist down, was a beautiful work of art complete with a circled letter B that Kendra was quick to point out to me. I am sure that was an accident as my little one is not a prodigy by any means) Only problem is it was on the door of a rental house and not on paper.
I had purchased magic erasers Monday night while grocery shopping and thought well, it is worth a shot and much to my surprise it took out the majority of the color. Now, it is a slight shade of very pale yellow on what is a white door. So much better than black and white. Love those magic erasers. This will be much easier to paint over at move out time.

and by the way,,,,,,,,,wonder why I was using a permanet marker instead of gift tags? Cause this same child was found pulling them off the packages and decorating her belly with them. Since I knew I may not remember what was in those unmarked packages in a few weeks which would determine who they were meant for.......I decided names in permanent marker in VERY big letters was the way to go.

Growth spurts

As I kept weeding through the clothes trying to find some warm items for my kiddos, I came to the conclusion that they are just not there this past weekend. Why, you might ask-not even for Danielle? Nope, you see I realized that going into this past summer Zoe was wearing a 18month still some 24 month but only for length in some items. She started the summer wearing some 12 month shorts of her sisters still. I promise I do feed the child but she seems to prefer oranges, apples and salads with cheese over too much that could pack on the weight. Even drinking milk is a challenge with this one. It seems though this fall, she has grown much taller but not any in girth. She needs a solid 3t but the waists must have tight elastic or they will come down. Now little Miss Elle is built a bit bigger (and I do mean a bit as she is still petite too) and started the summer in some 12month/18 month clothes...........although almost 2 full years younger than Zoe she now is already in a full 2t..........which we did not have any of. We skipped that size range entirely for warm clothes. YIKES. So after posting a request and responding to a fewon Freecycle, we came up with a small collection of winter items and a ton of summer things............thank goodness winters are short where we are and it will be warm again shortly. However, with Daddy coming home Mommy wanted some nice special things to meet him at the outdoor ceremony to keep the kiddos warm since it will be at 5 in the morning and temperatures are in the 30's at that time. Also some nice things for Christmas pics and a possible trip north...........still waiting the possibilities on that one until we see the neurologist. I think when John sees a seizure actually happen he will lose his interest in going north............but maybe not as his Dad is not doing well either. We have been told that he has been having mini-strokes due to a possible blood clot in his neck. I think I have been down this road before with my Mom's mom but maybe that was a clot in her head? I vaguely remember her head being shaved and living with us for a bit. I was little.....7 or 8 I think. She learned to talk clearly again, write her name, etc...........while with us. I hope he does not have to do that as he will not be a patient patient. Not quite his style of dealing with things.
Looking back at pictures of the kiddos when John left, man have they changed, Dani was a new walker still quite the baby. Now she is a independent toddler and riding a tricycle. Zoe was a toddler......now looking like a little kid and quite different with her short do.........man is it growing out weird! Some spots seems to be on miracle gro and others seems to need fertilized. Thankfully it is winter and while outdoors we can throw a hat on her head. and Kendra looking like a kid when he left but now she is being mistaken for a teenager. She has the curves and all that already. She was wearing a kids 12 at that point and now a Juniors 5/7. and sharing my shoes. The kid is going to be tall.........to be wearing a size 9 1/2-10 at her age. YIKES. Hope her feet stop growing soon. cause I like sharing shoes with her....it doubles the shoe wardrobe.